Posted in 2018

I had no words vcl©

Today I wanted to hold

your hand

Not chain your soul to the chiseled blocks

of raw silence

promises so brittle

blown away

come and gone.

 

I had no words

they vanished

one by one at the news that you had left

had just been passing through

I had no sound

my words evaporated

to the ground

to the silent earth

conjured up prayers

that taste like stale communion bread

on my tongue

seeking nourishment for

my soul.

 

*Aztec stone sculpture

Posted in 2018

Words that sting have a way of lingering ~ vcl©️

Let me ask you this: What’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you? How quickly can you recall this memory? Now try this one on: What are the most hurtful words anyone’s ever said to you? What about instances where the words uttered weren’t even intentionally mean, but they still stung deeply? I suspect this list would be the longest. Words that sting have a way of lingering.

My daughter’s untimely death has caused me to remember conversations, especially in the final weeks leading up to her suicide. It is not easy, not being enough for her to keep holding on. We always accused her of being cryptic…But my last conversation was clear as a bell. It will ring forever in my ears.

“It’s never been about you Mum. Bye. I love you.”

Her last text to me until the unending silence . A last gift. A last kindness. Even in her pain she sought to soothe. That’s why I love her. That’s why I’ve always loved her. Because she loved me. It was the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.❤️

Posted in 2018

Once again~ vcl©️

Through my window

I watch the snow fall.

I am on the qui vive as it feathers down.

Almost apologetically, like a billowing bed sheet;

Collectively covering the ground’s

 Nakedness and the tree’s limbs.

The picnic table stands in lonely, frozen silhouette.

Pigeons pace and prattle.

I open the door

and step over the threshold.

A dog howls a mournful tune in the distance.

Closing the door behind me I am enveloped

in semi- darkness. The snowflakes stare back silently.

Only one street light beams.

I am clothed in my own exhaled breath.

Bleak winter has arrived, once again.