Posted in 2019

Murdered words ©️vcl

Sometimes I cry

deep down

terrified

the rain of tears

fail to hide

lost dreams

murdered

with words unsaid

I hit the wall

for the fight for holiness

is real

deep, down, dead

my heart reels

I wait for the blessing

He knows my shame

and rains down

grace instead.

 

Art (Parshat Naso) Yolanda Raanan                                      The Priestly Blessing

 

Posted in 2019

Inhale ethos ©️vcl

Today I am mindful of memories.                                          of warmer climes, warm breezes                                      cold lemonade and daisies.
I feel regret for things that no longer are
Or will be exactly so again.

As I focus on the memories,                                                        I press them to my heart
Crushing the sweet fragrance                                                   of their blooms and inhale
Ethos.

Posted in 2019

We all stand beneath the same sky. vcl©

Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really…How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.”

Paul Bowles~ The Sheltering Sky

Almost through another week. The snow falls. We struggle to find our smiles as we slide along slippery streets, bundled against the frigid northern breezes. It is dark and restless now. I stare into the dark night sky. No stars, just a cloud blanket shaken by an unseen hand, showering snowflakes. A lone figure stalks along with his dog. I never envy anyone walking a pet in cold weather. It looks like all duty. None of the joy of a summer dawdle.

When we were a family, we trained our dog, AJ to take his own walk…along the path to his spot, around the curve and back again, always returning with that same satisfied grin.  365 days x 6 years. He was always joyous to reach home. A simple bark and the door opened and he bounced right in.

How often I have stood watching the night sky. Sleep is often elusive. I am comforted that I am not alone. I have a simple faith. God is there. Walking with me.  365 days X 65 years and counting.  ❤️ I’m not in any hurry to move on yet, but I’m sure about where I want to go. I’ll be happy to reach home.

We all stand

beneath the same sky

and sigh

for things that are

unrevealed, denied

clouded in mystery   

shrouded through history

until that great day

when all will

weep for we

have been set free

from our collective misery   

For we all stand

beneath the same sky.

 

Posted in 2019

The Narcissus Garden. vcl©️

Hello friends. It has been a sad, slow journey since the untimely death of one of our daughters. I find it difficult to put words to page these days. A few months before she passed away, in a happier moment, my husband and I bought a vacation package to Las Vegas for New Years.

We aren’t gamblers, but enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of the many entertainment venues and eateries available. Visiting the hotels with all kinds of interesting stuff is a treat. One particular favourite stop of mine is the Art Gallery at the Bellagio. It is a small innocuous spot nestled along the busy promenade where visiting artists are showcased.

This last visit was spectacular in its simplicity. Perhaps it was my melancholy that perceived it this way, but the exhibit by the Japanese artist  Yayoi Kusama was riveting to me. As the picture shows, it is just a collection of stainless steel polished globes. They are all grouped. But they are not randomly placed. The interesting thing is that they are arranged in such a way that no matter where you stand in the room you can see your reflection in the balls. It is named The Narcissus Garden.

The story of Ms. Kusama is really intriguing . You can check out her website here.  I’ve included her picture. Spoiler alert….she has an obsession with dots.  She also continues to wrestle with the big question of who we are and where are we going.  As do I. ❤️  Then there is my experience in the Infinity Room. More on that later. 

http://www.yayoi-kusama.jp/

Posted in 2019

Are you burdens light? ©️vcl

True story: While grocery shopping the clerks always asked if they could help me carry my groceries. When I was younger I felt quite offended. In fact one time I responded with a terse “I’ll let you know when I need help” as I picked up my 40 bags and struggled to the car. By the time I dragged them home I had broken out into a cold sweat. My husband offered to help, but I waved him away intent on proving that things were lighter than they looked.

Sometimes we are unwilling to let someone help make our burdens “light”. We would rather struggle along self righteously or indignantly wearing ourselves out, perhaps not wanting to be seen as weak… ignoring the help that is offered. How silly it seems now.