Tag: Relationships

Posted in 2018

I feel blue vcl©️

Posted on by Nfocus4you

I’ve found true joy comes from serving others. If you are feeling blue, turn on your servants heart and it will bless you.   Unknown.

I’ve been feeling blue. Life hasn’t followed the pattern I expected. I’ve agonized over who’s to blame and have no concrete answer.

I do know I feel too much. Truly, these last couple of years have been arduous. Words are spoken or not. Decisions get made or not. I’ve felt that the world is an unkind and unsafe place for the most part. I’ve found myself asking “If you can’t trust your tribe who can you trust?”  Where is the loyalty, the trust? Everybody scurries for cover when you ask the hard questions.

I can’t fix everything. There, I’ve said it out loud.  Actually a lot of things aren’t fixable in this world. More stuff is made to be disposable. Even the toaster eventually quits toasting. But you don’t feel the same pain throwing the toaster in the trash as when someone you love trashes you.

The pain is real. But reading the above quote this morning I was reminded that the world is full of other people who feel blue and if I look beyond myself they show up.  Every day.  People who appreciate your words of advice. People longing for words of hope. A hug.  A coffee.  I may never have the answers I crave in this world, but I can concentrate on how I respond to the sadness my heart feels every day. I choose joy in service. It’s what I do.  I do it because I want to. I do it because it gives me joy. It eases the burden.

I’ve turned on my servant’s heart and I don’t want to shut it off. ❤️

 

 

 

 

Posted in 2018

Joyful essence

Posted on by Nfocus4you

Give not over thy soul to sorrow and afflict not thyself in thy own counsel. Gladness of heart is the life of man and the joyfulness of man is length of days.     Ecclesiastes

Today my husband was blessed with another birthday. He has been blessed so far with 66 of them🤭 Today we were again  reminded that his father passed away at the young age of 59. He did not have the opportunity to grow old.

Each year that passes finds us having the same discussion…what he must have felt leaving this world too soon. Now, he had heart problems and finally a stroke, but as I look back I remember sitting in the hospital thinking how quiet and resigned he seemed to be. I was young. I didn’t know how to tell him that I would miss him not being there. Then my husband’s aunt passed away in her 59th year. That felt scary. Heart disease runs in the family said the Dr to my husband and he was also at risk. He was assured that exercise and healthy eating were better for him than Perogies and sour cream. ❤️

The year my husband turned 59 was really stressful, and felt he had dodged a bullet  …in fact when he hit his 60th we celebrated with a big party. Each year since has felt like a victory.

But ironically we have also learned that longevity has its downside. Aches and pains we didn’t have at 59, people asking when are we retiring….when we aren’t ready to think that way yet, children that don’t have the same time for us, grandchildren growing and finding their own interests. Life adjustments. Finding where we fit, what we’re  fit for.

i took this picture of flowers awhile ago on one of our vacations.  In observing it, I am reminded that some flowers have short lifespans and others are perennial….but they all spread a joyful essence to the atmosphere they inhabit. The natural world has an order to be envied if you observe closely. I am mindful that all time in this earthly space is short and seasonal.  But it can be oh so beautiful.

So we celebrate another year. We will be glad in the length of our days.🤩

 

Posted in 2018

Till Spring 🌬 vcl©️

Posted on by Nfocus4you

It is the time of year again

I hear the autumn call

In the cool brisk north wind

The whispering willows

Do their thing

Dropping leaves that cover

Things that will not be found

Till spring. And the last birds sing.

 

Those birds, they sing of everything

They have seen, soaring near and far

Flying high as they return

From whenst they came

Stealing grain, singing of

The journey home again

Slipping away to warmer climes

Life renewed. On the other side.

Posted in 2018

Roots of trees 🍂🍃 vcl©️

Posted on by Nfocus4you

Oh how I longed to be

The roots of trees,

Anchored deep into the earth

To sway contentedly in the breeze.

 

But I see that I’m destined to be

The leaves that scatter free,

Travelling along in my little world

Anchored to no one else but me.

Posted in 2018

Refracted light~ just a glimpse.🍂 vcl©️

Posted on by Nfocus4you

I thought of you today

as standing in a cope of trees

nearly naked limbs dangling

in autumn’s rheumy breeze

i glimpsed you in the broken light

refracted through the falling leaves

too bright still, restless,  mortal

beams spilling through the edges

I thought of you today

Here and there, and in between.

Posted in 2018

The right words~ simply💫

Posted on by Nfocus4you

One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.⠀   Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums⠀

I can identify with Jack. Sometimes in an attempt to find the right words that will allow me to communicate with you, dear readers,  I find myself with nothing to say. Nothing. Sometimes that makes my friends and family nervous. Because it’s  not that I don’t have words. I have tons of words. Words that weave and dance, that caress and cajole but usually they are more complicated than I wish. I occasionally need to look for simple.

So I went to the sea, Cuba. Sunshine. Sand. Sleep.

Simple.

I went to the sea today

Raised finger tips

to sun kissed lips

Tasted the salt

Of a thousand tears

Words that have never been heard

 Just evaporated, disappeared.

~I feel recharged. We are and then we are not. Simple as that. 💫

 

 

 

 

Posted in 2018

That tinge of bright 🌤

Posted on by Nfocus4you

“Light is prettiest in the dark.”
― Joyce Rachelle

A number of years ago I had the pleasure of traveling to Europe. One highlight was a visit to the Rikkmuseum in Amsterdam. There I absorbed the old art by famous painters such as Van Gogh, Vermeer, Marten, Asselijn and Rembrandt. It was a truly delightful experience.

One of the portraits that intrigued me most was the famous piece by Rembrandt named The Night Watch, Rembrandt van Rijn, 1642

Undoubtedly his best-known masterpiece, which is said to have marked a turning point in the artist’s career, takes pride of place in its own gallery. The large-scale painting depicts guardsmen getting into formation, with a young girl in the foreground rumoured to be modelled on Rembrandt’s late wife. The grand space is dedicated to Rembrandt’s vision .

There was seating all around the centre of the room where one can gaze at the painting from various angles. I was struck by the darkness of the room and the picture itself , which was huge along the wall. My gaze centred on the people depicted in front. This was my first introduction to what is called Rembrandt lighting.

Rembrandt lighting was named after of the great master, who often used it in his own portraits. The idea is to create a small inverted triangle of light on the subject’s cheek that is opposite the light source. This is very flattering (especially for people with prominent cheekbone structure) and was often used in old Hollywood portraits. Teachers say that it is important to ensure that you get catch lights in both eyes.

Since then I’ve been mindful of this thought. There’s no wrong in darkness, only a brief departure from the light. To understand the darkness in others, it serves us to know our own darkness. Rembrandt knew his subjects well.

Let’s show ourselves some light.  Allow yourself to be inspired to let go of the need to stay in darkness—your entire life isn’t meant to be a struggle, but if you think it is, that’s what it’ll be for you.

The trick isn’t to drown the darkness with light, or to replace the negativity with positivity, but to bring the darkness to the light, like an offering.

This is my offering today to you.❤️

Posted in 2018

I am not a Writer ~ just stones that talk

Posted on by Nfocus4you

    If you wish to be a writer,  write.

Epictetus *

I am not a writer~
Oh, I have stones crammed inside my head, collected

stuffed into an abandoned trunk of old forgotten valuables

left to expire in the dusty attic~ but I am not a writer.

I am a holder~

holding the talking stones of childhood memories, sibling quests

love gained and lost, birth pangs and the fool’s gold of age.

I hold the stones, smooth to my caress ~I feel the words speak.

 

vcl poem /photo ~ Lake Athabasca

Posted in 2018

Taste the Mystery

Posted on by Nfocus4you

We really are very lucky. You know…US… the gardening people. We have had our annual joy…..and a busy time recently gathering in all the fruits and vegetables of our labors. Abruptly…just as every year feels that way,  cooler weather has descended…I find myself contemplating socks….saints preserve us!

This is the time of year when we can’t go around with a new plant (family member) as in warmer climes, chanting under our breath “Where are we going to put you?” Here in northern Alberta….the land of the blue line on seed packets I call it, we are now asking ourselves “How are we going to protect you?”

My husband states he saw frost on my car in the early morning…which I’ll have to take his word for as early is a dirty word in my vocabulary. 🤩 Hearing that though, I am instantly thrown into a protective stance. Do I grab the peppers and tomatoes (still quite green due to poor sunlight caused largely by the forest fires that hid the sun and the rest of the skyline most of the summer) ? Or do I leave them be, alert for just a little precious Indian Summer?

That’s the dichotomy of gardening friends.  The cycle of birth and death. It gets played out on the gardening stage every year. It’s been a great run, but now we look for ways to cheat the calendar.  It could mean the difference between a bountiful harvest or no harvest at all.

As for me, I went down to my garden today. I picked some tomatoes, cukes and onions. I grabbed a couple of peppers and a lone zucchini too and made a delicious salad for our supper.

I pronounced it good.

I picked more sage to dry, anticipating Thanksgiving in the pungent autumnal odor lingering on my fingers. I contemplated covering the Tom Thumbs. Maybe tomorrow.

Mother Nature winks at us all. I Winked back!😍😉

Photo vcl©️