Posted in 2019

Inhale ethos ©️vcl

Today I am mindful of memories.                                          of warmer climes, warm breezes                                      cold lemonade and daisies.
I feel regret for things that no longer are
Or will be exactly so again.

As I focus on the memories,                                                        I press them to my heart
Crushing the sweet fragrance                                                   of their blooms and inhale
Ethos.

Posted in 2019

The Narcissus Garden. vcl©️

Hello friends. It has been a sad, slow journey since the untimely death of one of our daughters. I find it difficult to put words to page these days. A few months before she passed away, in a happier moment, my husband and I bought a vacation package to Las Vegas for New Years.

We aren’t gamblers, but enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of the many entertainment venues and eateries available. Visiting the hotels with all kinds of interesting stuff is a treat. One particular favourite stop of mine is the Art Gallery at the Bellagio. It is a small innocuous spot nestled along the busy promenade where visiting artists are showcased.

This last visit was spectacular in its simplicity. Perhaps it was my melancholy that perceived it this way, but the exhibit by the Japanese artist  Yayoi Kusama was riveting to me. As the picture shows, it is just a collection of stainless steel polished globes. They are all grouped. But they are not randomly placed. The interesting thing is that they are arranged in such a way that no matter where you stand in the room you can see your reflection in the balls. It is named The Narcissus Garden.

The story of Ms. Kusama is really intriguing . You can check out her website here.  I’ve included her picture. Spoiler alert….she has an obsession with dots.  She also continues to wrestle with the big question of who we are and where are we going.  As do I. ❤️  Then there is my experience in the Infinity Room. More on that later. 

http://www.yayoi-kusama.jp/

Posted in 2019

Are you burdens light? ©️vcl

True story: While grocery shopping the clerks always asked if they could help me carry my groceries. When I was younger I felt quite offended. In fact one time I responded with a terse “I’ll let you know when I need help” as I picked up my 40 bags and struggled to the car. By the time I dragged them home I had broken out into a cold sweat. My husband offered to help, but I waved him away intent on proving that things were lighter than they looked.

Sometimes we are unwilling to let someone help make our burdens “light”. We would rather struggle along self righteously or indignantly wearing ourselves out, perhaps not wanting to be seen as weak… ignoring the help that is offered. How silly it seems now.

Posted in 2019

Don’t pray for lesser things. ©️vcl

Because

Sometimes the heavens

Have ceased to hear me

I speak to the silent earth

I pray to the god of the lesser things

The god of everyday birds

Who offers nothing

Just sits on the edge of each new day

watches the unraveling of  life

In unexpected ways

Pecking on empty seeds

Idly observes  the demons

Wipes no tear stained cheeks

Lingers sullenly, consumed ,

Silently taunts my humanness

It’s not giving up really, just a bitter cup

Move along, there’s nothing to see here

Just a lesser god doing nothing

Except reminding me of my weaknesses

Daring me to give the heavens another chance.

 

photo : Ondrej Pakan